I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the very first time in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Element of me wanted to stay longer, acim teacher but beneath that desire was the thought that I will be doing so for the wrong reason; as an easy way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to talk about wasn’t yet clear at that time; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside. Don’t want it troubling your mind, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I possibly could not think of something that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I had in coming to the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere using its residents’satisfaction, by just my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
You can find other things that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.